Moving (Like Morgan) To A New State: How To Guide

Can't believe I am typing this but...

I live in Tennessee now?

WOAH.

This has been a long time coming and it's crazy to think that a dream turned into an actual reality and I am doin' the damn thing. I am officially back to my Southern roots and living in Nashville.

Yee to the mf'n HAW, baby.

If you're like, "Morgan, where have you been?!"

Well, folks... moving across the country is no joke. The fact I am somewhat functioning right now is a miracle. But! I am finally getting settled, my couch has been ordered, Shark Tank is back on my TV and I am looking out my windows at the pretty Nashville skyline. So it's time to write.

Some questions I have been getting from y'all lately that I figured I might as well address are...

1) Why did you move? 

2) How were you confident enough to move to a place where you didn't really know anyone? 

3) I want to move and I am SCARED. How do you meet people? 

As your internet bestie (so I like to say), I'm here to help. And I am going to start by saying: 

Just do it. 

Sometimes you simply need to take a blind leap of faith and let everything fall into place. Because you will never know what could have been unless you just do the damn thing.

If you are thinking about moving and want a change, my question for you is... why not now? Stop putting it off, stop waiting for the right time, stop fearing the unknown. There is no "perfect" time. You just have to make the jump and see what happens.

Why I moved:

For me, I knew that California was not my forever home. I love pink, sparkles, smiles, Southern hospitality, country music and men in cowboy hats. That doesn't exactly scream "LA" right?

I was working endlessly and traveling nonstop just to escape reality... I never wanted to actually be "home" when in Los Angeles. While I absolutely loved my friends and the insanely gorgeous weather... California is expensive, exhausting and full of people all wanting to climb what I call the "LA ladder" and step on you in the process. I knew in my gut that I needed to GTFO (for lack of better terms). 

In fact, I knew this well over a year ago. I knew this when I was in a relationship. I knew this during my breakup. But let fear hold me in place. I looked for every single excuse possible to stay... seriously.

I would tell myself:

"Try dating! If you find a boyfriend, it's meant to be and you will stay in California"

"I will look at another city outside of LA. Maybe that's a good enough change"

"If I get this job opportunity, it will be a sign from the universe that I am meant to stay" 

I even went far enough to go through casting for a new reality show that was going to film in LA. I really thought that was going to solve all my problems.. even though I had told myself no more shows and I absolutely do not like any form of reality TV. Plot twist... the show got put on pause and I wasted all my time going through HOURS of casting. Funny how that works.

When the new year approached, I told myself... Sister, it is now or never. I knew if I didn't make the move at the beginning of 2023, I would keep making excuses and I would prolong a dream of mine just because I was scared. 

So what did I do? 

I did what I do best.

...I booked a trip to Barcelona.

You may start to notice, when I get stressed out, I book spontaneous trips. Some may call this running from my problems.. I like to justify it as a tax write off, okay.

This was in November and I remember I told myself, "You are NOT allowed to leave until you turn in your 60 day notice for your apartment". Turn in the little piece of paper, put it in writing and then go freaking CELEBRATE in Europe.

So, I literally packed my bags, called my Uber to LAX and then I printed out the piece of paper, marched down to my apartment office and dropped it off on the desk.

That was it. 

I was officially moving to Tennessee!?

Sometimes you just need to force yourself to do it and don't allow yourself to second guess it. No turning back.

*An important note... I was not moving to Nashville without knowing A SOUL. I was lucky enough to have a college friend living here and also knew a few people through other friends. Now, I didn't have any BFF's, no family, no community waiting for me... But I was very fortunate to at least know a handful a kind people to help me out. Don't want y'all thinking I am TOO ballsy, okay*

And before you think I continue thinking I am a badass (note: I am not), yes... I did turn in the notice to vacate my apartment and I did fly to Barcelona to live my best life. But I ALSO spent the next 3 weeks crying to my therapist.

She is human, folks!

Something my therapist told me that I will never EVER forget:

"Moving is like trying on pants"

...Excuse me, Carly? (That's my therapist's name).

She went on to elaborate and said that it really is like shopping for pants. You have to try on a lot of different pairs before you find the right fit.

You might immediately find the perfect pair of ripped boyfriend jeans that are buttery soft and make your butt look amazing... and if so, hell yeah. Good for you!

But... you also may have to try on a bunch of pairs of jeans before you find THAT pair. In fact, you may try on a bunch of jeans and find out that you never really even needed a new pair. You may want to just wear your old favorite pair that you have stashed in your closet. 

Do ya get it now?

Moving is like trying on PANTS!!!?!

Naturally, I would love an analogy that involves shopping. My therapist really knows how to get through to me. 

This leads me to answer this question...

How I was confident enough to move to a place where I didn't (really) know anyone:

Well because... I can always move back?

If I hate it, it's temporary. But if I never try it, I will never know what could have been. And one thing I never want to do in my life is live wondering "what if."

Life is too damn short for what ifs. 

Plus, it's FUN to meet new people! There's a whole world of amazing humans out there. New perspectives, new friendships, new experiences. Ooh, I get excited just typing that?! And you should too.

Now I was going to include a little tidbit about my wholeeeee road trip from California to Tennessee but honestly.. you can just look at my road trip vlogs on my Instagram for the whole scoop on what I did and where I went along the way! My fingers are already cramping up LOL. 

Onward. 

How TF to get OUT of your comfort zone & meet new people in a new city:

Enough story time and inspirational chit chat. Here are some actual tips that I think are incredibly helpful for anyone going through a move and feeling a little nervous & lonely.

1. Utilize your network.

Your friends, family and coworkers want to help you! Let me repeat that.

PEOPLE. WANT. TO. HELP.

Ask!

You never know the connections you will make just by asking, "Hey do you know anyone in fill in the blank city?"

Some of the coolest friends I have made (Portugal Chris, IYKYK) came from me asking some of my California friends who they knew and if they could connect me. I also like this option because you are probably going to meet people that have already passed what I call the "nice factor" from your own people. Meaning, your friends or family probably won't connect you with someone who absolutely sucks - hopefully. 

So if you are moving... start putting out feelers! Tell your circle of humans and ask if they know of anyone who knows anyone in the area. Ask them to put you in a group chat or connect you on social media. An easy way to meet new people and skip out on some of the awkward introductory phase!

2. Join a Facebook group!

Yo. The power of social media is actually so crazy. I swear there is a Facebook group for just about EVERYTHING these days. 

I am a big FB group girly and I think it's such a handy way to meet like minded people. Do a search and see what your new city has to offer! For example there is one in Nashville I just joined called "Nashville Girls Group" and I am excited to see who I can meet from there. 

Just try it out and don't be afraid to toss a post up! Make yourself known and allow your good energy to attract good back. 

3. Bumble BFF.

Okay, I haven't PERSONALLY used this but I do enjoy a good Bumble/Hinge situation when traveling overseas to meet some European cuties (don't you dare judge me). I've had a ton of people on social media tell me that they have met some really great friends on Bumble BFF and they love it, so it's worth a shot.

Think of it like dating... but for a fun friend?! Seems kind of amazing, TBH. 

4. Try out fitness classes! 

This is probably my personal favorite because you are getting in a good workout, reaping the benefits of endorphins, finding new gyms that motivate you AND potentially meeting a like minded friend (who could become your new gym buddy).

If you have seen me on IG, you have probably noticed that I am doing a "fitness class quest" in Nashville and trying to test out all the different workout options they have to offer. I have only tried 5 or so, but at each new spot, I have met at least one new person! SCORE. 

But the key is... don't be afraid to go up to a new person and say hello! If you don't want to do that and think it's weird (I promise it's not), try complimenting them. You can never go wrong by telling a girl, "I love your leggings! Where did you get them?" 

Trust me.

Also, many group fitness classes and gyms offer discounts, free classes or trials for new members so you might as well take advantage of that! Fit friends unite!

5. Join a church (or a club)

There's nothing I love more than a good church community. The people at any church always seem to be so warm and welcoming because you know like... WWJD?

If you are looking to meet some new friends, try going to a new church or joining a small group within that church. Also, don't be afraid to go to church ALONE. I do it all the time and while I don't always chat up the person next to me, it's still a great way to feel like you are a part of something.

And if that isn't really your thing, try joining a club! Anything that involves a group of people with similar interests seems like a great way to start to cultivate your community and circle of friends. 

Don't be afraid of making the effort either. If you want to meet people, you can't sit back and just expect it to happen. Take it into your own hands and make the plans! Take initiative and I promise, it will pay off.

Well folks, that's all I got for ya.

Thank you for following along! If you are reading this and questioning if you should move or not, or if you just moved and you are feeling a little discouraged... I truly hope my words inspire you. 

Change is a good thing.

Have an open mind.

Don't live your life wondering what would it could have been. 

And most importantly, trust that everything that everything for you will always come to you. 

Until next time... 

Xo,

Morg