Holy sh*t I am 28?
Yup, that's right today is the start of my 28th year of living on this planet. I feel like it was just yesterday that I was an idiot in college, dancing on bars and now I can barely stay awake past 11 pm. *Sigh* She's all grown up.
I honestly didn't think I would be super emotional about this birthday or even care about turning 28... I mean I ain't 30 yet... but man, I was wrong.
FULL TRANSPARENCY: I have been a total wreck all week long.
This past year has been one big emotional rollercoaster. I started off my 27th year on my highest of highs... I had an epic pink themed backyard bash, I had all my favorite people there, I got all of my favorite vendors to work with me, I had a relationship that I absolutely adored at the time. I was ON TOP OF THE WORLD, BABY. I felt like that day was truly setting me up for what was going to be an incredible year.
Ha. Plot twist.
This was one of the most challenging years of my life.
My relationship ended.
I had to deal with it in the public eye.
I was heart broken.
I was lost.
I didn't know how to be on my own.
I wasn't sure of my next steps.
I was scared.
I had to start over.
I had to learn to love myself again.
I had to start... dating again???? WTF is that.
Anyways, you get the gist. 27 was a weird year. Lots of highs, lows and in betweens.. but I can say, after the heartbreak... came freedom? For the first time, I felt like I was LIVING MY LIFE again. So that was definitely a silver lining and major win.
But even though I was feeling good (or so I thought), as my next birthday approached, I started to panic. I thought this past year was about learning, growing, picking up the pieces... and by the time my next birthday rolled around, I was convinced that I would be starting the next chapter of my life with my sh*t together.
I would be in a new relationship.
I would be reaching new audiences.
I would know exactly my next steps in my career.
I would be confident going into 28.
I panicked because none of this is happening. In fact, I simply feel lost. I don't know what the future holds and I don't know if this upcoming year will be better or worse than my last. What if it's worse???? I can feel the anxiety start to take over and my chest start to get tight even when I think about that. Love that for me.
The reality of the situation is that I'm getting older and I feel like I don't have any of the answers that I desperately want. Like hello God, it's me, Morgan. I am turning 28 and don't know what the heck to do with my life. I would love some guidance!
*If I sound dramatic, lets please just note that Mercury is in retrograde and I am highly emotional. It's not my fault, it's Mercurys.
My heart is pulled into a million different directions as I start this new chapter at a new age. Do I move? Do I stay in LA? Do I need to rush into dating more? Do I solo travel more? Do I launch a new business? Do I have too much on my plate?
These have been my thoughts all week long and here we are, the day before my birthday. I am writing this - with not a whole lot of direction, TBH - and realizing something: I simply don't need to have all the answers.
What I NEED is to enjoy the time I am given and trust that I am EXACTLY where I am meant to be. And when my 29th birthday comes around (wow that makes me feel old), I will look back on this moment with so much clarity. Everything I am stressing about now WILL fall into place and it WILL make sense. I am confident in that. I just need to let go and trust.
If you are in the same boat as me... Lets collectively take a big breathe in.
We got this.
Okay now let's get into the fun part that I had actually planned to include in this blog post before I started rambling and word vomiting to strangers on the internet.
Every year on my birthday, I like to make a list of ALL the things I learned in the past year. It's fun to sit and reflect on the crazy life lessons and see just how far you have come! So here we go...
28 THINGS I HAVE LEARNED BY 28
1. Everything happens for a reason, even if it doesn’t make sense at the time.
2. Quality > quantity. This applies to all aspects of your life, especially relationships.
3. You cannot change people.
4. Traveling is good for the soul.
5. Vulnerability isn’t a weakness, but a strength.
6. Dating in LA sucks (Hey, it’s what I’ve learned?)
7. A good nights sleep > a wild night out.
8. People aren’t going to remember what you did, but they will remember how you made them feel.
9. It’s fun to be bold. Wear whatever the hell you want if it makes you happy.
10. You will find so much freedom in simply being yourself.
11. There’s way more to life than your follower and like count.
12. Being kind is one of the most attractive qualities a person can have.
13. Book clubs are super freaking fun.
13. Tell your story, whatever it may be. It’s yours to tell.
14. Let go of grudges and trust that karma will always do the job.
15. Before you say yes… just think about it.
16. Wear your SPF and drink your water.
17. You can’t be happy with someone else until you learn to be happy on your own.
18. Therapy is so beneficial and more people should talk about it.
19. Your health & fitness goals are important… but so is enjoying your life.
20. Pay attention to who checks on your during hard times - those are your people.
21. There’s a whole world waiting for you just outside of your comfort zone.
22. Heartache doesn’t last forever.
23. Find a hobby that excites you and pursue it.
24. If you want something, it’s up to you to make it happen.
25. Rejection is Gods protection.
26. People come and go, but family is forever. Cherish your time with them.
27. Don’t you dare ever let anyone dull your shine.
28. Life goes by so fast, don’t waste any time. Enjoy every. single. second.
That's all I got, folks. Here's to another year older and another year wiser!
And here's a reminder... you don't have to have all of your sh*t figured out. Ride the wave, baby. Ride the wave.