I am officially entering my last year in my 20's.
Also, hi! How are ya? Long time, no talk on this ole blog.
Life has been crazy... to say the least.
Since I am another year older AND another year wiser (and almost 30 OMG), I wanted to drop some wisdom on my birthday because that's just what I like to do - and not to toot my own horn, but I think I am pretty good at it.
Birthdays are my absolute favorite, not only because it's my excuse to dress up, throw parties and be as sparkly as I want without anyone being able to tell me anything... but because it's also a chance to do some serious self reflection.
I'm not sure why, but think it's always fun to sit down and scroll through the photos on my phone whenever my birthday approaches. Take a trip down memory lane, you know?
I go through memories, I look at how far I've come, I laugh at the mistakes I made, I look at all the cool places I went and judge myself for the sometimes questionable outfits I wore.
I truly pause and reminisce on the last 365 days.
And then I make a list.
Because we LOVE lists here!
So you know the drill.
Here are the 29 things I have learned by 29.
1. Change is a good thing.
It's scary. It's uncomfortable. It's also sometimes oh so needed.
The biggest change this year for me came when I decided to pick up my life and move from Los Angeles to Nashville. Trust me, I was freaking the f out (for lack of better terms). But had I never decided to take the blind leap of faith, I would have never discovered the city that is truly the perfect fit for me. I would have never realized just how much I needed to get out of California. I wouldn't have met all my new and amazing friends in Nashville. I would have been completely unaware of all the happiness that awaited me on the other side of a massive life change.
Change is a good thing, friends.
2. There’s no better feeling than being totally and completely yourself.
You're not going to be everyone's cup of tea and that is okay. Some people will love you and encourage you to live authentically, and those are your people. Cherish them. Others are going to have something negative to say and that's just part of life. It is what it is. But I think the second I realized that I would rather live simply for ME, instead of making myself into a mold of what I thought people would like... that is the moment when I truly felt free.
Life is too short to worry about what other people think. If a hot pink, poofy loofa dress makes YOU happy... by all means, you wear that damn dress loud and proud.
3. Take the mother freakin’ trip. & if no one else can go, do it solo.
You get ONE life and there is a whole entire world to explore full of food and adventure, new people and new cultures, epic sights and SO MUCH WONDER. If you want to go somewhere and no one else can, please don't let that deter you. Go go go!
4. And on that note.. travel at least once by yourself. It’s terrifying, yet so empowering.
Remember when I was supposed to go to Portugal with my friend and then they broke their collarbone 48 hours before we were supposed to leave and then I decided last minute to go on a solo adventure by myself that quite literally changed the trajectory of my life and healed all the pieces of my heart that were still a bit broken while meeting life long friends I still keep in touch with? Yeah. Me too.
Go on a solo trip. I promise it's worth it.
5. Don’t bleach your hair. If you do, invest in hair growth vitamins asap.
Look we all go through hair phases but please for the love of God... stay away from bleach.
*insert discount code for Nutrafol*
6. Go to therapy.. even when things are seemingly “good”
I started therapy because I was in a low and very dark place. But I stayed in therapy and showed up CONSISTENTLY because I care about my mental health and I truly want to be an all around better human being to my friends, to my family, to my community and most importantly... to myself.
I'm a different human now than I was two birthday's ago and I give so much credit to me forcing myself to show up to therapy, even on my "good" days. Self care, baby!
7. It’s okay to be single, even when everyone else around you seems to be in a relationship. You’re going to have way more fun by yourself then forcing yourself into something that isn’t right for you.
Honestly, being single is... dare I say... fun?!
Stop letting society put pressure on you. Live it up while you CAN and when Mr. Right comes along, you will be ready. Trust the process and enjoy your season of singleness.
8. Doing your taxes will never make sense or gets any easier.
Why don't they teach us this in school?
9. What you focus on… you create MORE of.
Simple as that.
If you focus on negative thoughts, you create more negative situations for yourself. If you focus on positivity and abundance, you create more of that. Following me here? Your mind holds SO MUCH POWER. So use it wisely.
10. It’s good to be a planner. It’s also good to be spontaneous. You need a healthy balance of both.
I am a type A, planner extraordinaire... we know this. But the most memorable moments in my life are the ones that are totally spontaneous and unplanned.
Find the balance of both. Go sky diving in a foreign country by yourself.. why not?
11. Pay attention to who you feel your best around.
In my early 20's, I would surround myself by as many people as possible because I wanted it to seem like I had so many friends and that's what made me feel "popular" and "loved" ... and honestly, most of the time I would leave events or clubs or social situations with those people feeling awful.
Fast forward to 29: I have a smaller circle, full of genuine, authentic and like- minded people that I WANT to invest my time and energy into... because they want to do the same for me! You want friends that leave you feeling your best. Those are your people.
Quality > Quantity.
12. Throw yourself a party. Seriously do it. Go big, celebrate yourself and be your own biggest cheerleader.
Life is too short not to have epic freaking parties. Plain and simple.
13. If you aren’t happy with where you are living… move. You aren’t stuck in one place forever.
I firmly believe that everyone should live in a new city at least once in their life. If you don't, how will you ever know if you are truly happy where you are?
14. The people who get upset about you setting boundaries, are the ones who benefit from you having none.
I mean... need I say more?
(Shoutout to my therapist for this one).
15. Rejection is simply redirection (It still sucks… but it’s also benefitting you in the long run)
This last year (year 28) was when I really started to put myself out there more when it came to dating. Fun times, let me tell ya.
As you may know, with dating comes inevitable rejection from time to time... and it sucks? It really can sting, put a damper on your confidence and it's not fun no matter who you are. That goes for dating, jobs, or just like LIFE.
But the second I realized that rejection is actually a blessing... is the second it became a whole hell of a lot easier for me.
Hear me out.
Rejection is simply God redirecting you to where you are MEANT to be. How cool is that? You don't have to waste your time anymore on anything that isn't part of your plan.
16. Say yes. To people, to opportunity, to adventure… you never know where one simple “yes” will take you.
As you may know, I had a YES YEAR in 2022. I said yes to as much as I could (this is coming from a girl who normally would say "no" and play it safe) and it truly changed my life.
You never know who you will meet or what crazy adventure you will be introduced to by simply saying "yes" ...do it and watch a whole new world open up before you.
17. But also, practice saying no when you want to. And don’t feel guilty about it. Your mental health is worth more than making someone else happy.
On the contrary to #16... boundaries are also very important.
18. It’s fun to dress up. Find any opportunity you can to dress up, even when other people aren’t.
Literally, I LIVE BY THIS RULE.
Every time I put on a killer outfit that is loud, sparkly and totally "me," I feel so good. It sparks joy and happiness and isn't that what life is all about?
Life is too short to wear boring outfits. Have some fun and who cares if someone else thinks it's "too much" - maybe they aren't enough.
19. You will never leave Las Vegas feeling good. Accept it and prepare accordingly.
I say this every year and every year... I go to Vegas and leave feeling like a train wreck. Maybe by the age of 30 I will learn my lesson.
20. Save your money, but also spend it on what brings you joy. Life is short and it can be taken away tomorrow and no one is going to care about how much you saved in your bank account. Be smart, work hard but also enjoy your freaking life.
I will never forget sitting in a little cafe in Spain (with a Hinge date LOL) and listening to him tell me a story about his brother who tragically passed away in a car accident.
He told me that his brother spent his whole entire life saving every penny he had and working his ass off, with little time for enjoyment. He was a slave to his job, essentially.
And then his life was over before he had the time to actually enjoy any of his hard work.
Ever since that moment, my mentality on my finances shifted a bit. Yes, be responsible and save your money. I'm not saying throw it all out the window. What I AM saying is to live your life and indulge in experiences NOW because you never know if there will be a tomorrow.
Work to live, don't live to work.
21. When you have a bad day, talk about it. Normalize life not always being sunshine and rainbows and you won’t feel so alone.
We are humans. We have shitty days. It's okay to say it because I guarantee you aren't the only one.
22. Take care of your body, you only get one (Everything starts to hurt once you hit 29 apparently).
Health is wealth. Without it, you have nothing.
Go to the gym, drink your water, eat your veggies and for the love of God... STRETCH.
23. Don’t underestimate the power of manifestation and mantra’s (aka the lucky girl syndrome)
"I am lucky and EVERYTHING is working in my favor"
Say it, believe it and watch the magic happen.
24. Stop crying over bad dates, those are the ones that make the best stories.
The amount of tears I have shed because I felt like I wasted my time on an atrocious date when I could have been with my friends or eating ice cream on my couch, binging my fav show.
Shitty dates are part of life and with each shitty date, you learn what you do and DON'T want in a future relationships and... you probably have a killer story to laugh about with your girlfriends at your next wine night.
25. If it scares you, it’s probably worth doing. True growth really does come the second you step out of your comfort zone.
Solo trip to Europe.
Starting a new business.
Moving to Nashville.
All terrified me.. all worth it.
26. You don’t need a new outfit for every single event. You really don’t.
I'm not even sure why I am typing this, because I don't follow this rule. But I would like to!?
But seriously, you have enough clothes in your closet. Rewear them, rent them, borrow from a friend... and use that money on EXPERIENCES.
*You're probably rolling your eyes reading this because you know I currently have 10 things in my online shopping cart but like.. it's a pretty wise rule in theory, ok*
27. Someone will quite literally always have an opinion on what you do... so you might as well do whatever you want.
People are going to talk no matter what, might as well give them something to talk about. ;)
28. Social media is a total illusion. Don’t let comparison be the thief of your joy.
As someone who lives their life online and spends entirely too much time on social media (it's my job, give me a break), I can tell you that it's all fake. IT IS ALL FAKE.
Don't let someone else's highlight reel make you feel bad about your own life. In fact, if anything on social media causes you to feel bad... my rule of thumb is to simply remove it. Mute, unfollow, block. Whatever it may be!
You get to choose what you see, so make it positive and happy and never forget what's really REAL.
29. Trust the process, trust that everything happens for a reason and trust that it only gets better.
Every year I choose a "word of the year" and this year mine was trust.
As I go into my 29th year and my last year in my 20's, I am not stressing.
I am not dwelling on the past.
I am not worrying about what the future holds.
I am simply trusting that it truly ONLY GETS BETTER with every day that passes.
Here's to another year on this beautiful little earth.
I truly can't wait to see what is in store for me... and don't worry, I promise I will bring you guys along for the wild ride.
Thanks for reading and more importantly, thanks for all the love and support.
Until next time...