Right now I am sitting on my couch with a candle lit, laptop charged up, Shark Tank on the TV… and I am not going to lie, I am a bit stumped?
When I first came up with the concept of rebranding my website and including a lifestyle blog, I was so excited and I had SO many ideas. As a former journalism major, I felt like this was the perfect route for me to take. I love writing and not to mention, my father would be thrilled to know that I am using my college degree! (Joking, dad). These past few months, I have really been opening up via my personal Instagram page and through vulnerability and candidness, I have been able to use my words to not only heal myself, but also help others feel like they aren’t doing life alone.
Pretty powerful, right?
So, my idea was to have a home for all of my words to live permanently. So once they disappear from my story after 24 hours, someone can head to my website and read something to bring them comfort: whether it's life advice, a lesson I learned, photos of a fun place I traveled. Literally anything! And of course, in typical influencer fashion, I wanted to include the fun stuff on here as well… recipes, outfit links, travel reviews, fitness tips. So basically what I am saying… this blog was going to be my one-stop-shop for all things MORGAN.
Then I sat down at my computer to type my first blog post.
WHERE ON EARTH DO I EVEN BEGIN?
This feels different than me responding to an Instagram Q&A or sharing a quick blurb about how I am feeling one random day. I have so much I want to say, so much I want to cover and I honestly feel totally overwhelmed - hey, y’all know I like to keep it 100. But in typical Morgan fashion, I am always down for a good ole challenge. So, I am going to take one more big sip of wine and just start wherever my heart feels like taking me.
*Thinks to self how much I love being able to call myself a blogger now*
Okay, let’s talk about life changes.
Big. Freaking. Life. Changes.
They happen to us all and they’re honestly terrifying. But as you all know, we can’t stay in our protective bubble forever. Eventually life has to throw us curve balls in order to push up in the right direction and help us to grow into the person we are meant to be.
Damn, I really wish it was easier than that.
But honestly, I wouldn’t be here typing this for all of you, my internet besties as I like to say, if it wasn’t for my world turning upside down and dumping me flat on my a$$. Up until these last couple of months, I haven’t been thrown many curveballs. I’m a former reality TV girl turned social media influencer and that’s about it. I had been thrown for some loops (not sure what the correct baseball term would be) but I was so obsessed with staying in my happy little “bubble” that I did everything in my power to ignore these things. To control the situation and narrative and to try and change what life had in store for me.
Note to self: STOP TRYING TO CONTROL EVERYTHING. God has His plan for you and honey, you can’t change that. You can only trust it.
So long story short, my big life change was that I went through a very public breakup and was cheated on by someone I truly loved more than anything in the world. Oof. It still hurts me to even type that because come on, no one ever wants to be in that situation. I wouldn’t wish going through that, especially under the microscope of the public eye, on anyone. But it happened, there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening then or in the future (I am learning after a lot of therapy) and I was left to pick up the pieces and figure out what the hell to do next.
Heartache freaking sucks. PS: I am currently reading your mind and to answer your question, eventually I will do a blog post on heartbreak. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings on that one. Once I can collect my thoughts, I will open up more on that.
But let’s stay the course here and figure out the moral of this “life changes… Now what” story.
My life had changed. The instant I chose to walk away from the relationship, I knew my life and comfort zone I had built was about to change. I tear up even thinking about it because gosh, sometimes I feel the old feeling of familiarity. Despite the bad times, I miss certain TV shows. I miss my old grocery store. I miss waking up next to another person (corny I know, but just let me be in my feels for a hot minute, ok).
It’s scary dealing with change. I think that’s why the majority of us stay in situations that don’t serve us: jobs, friendships, relationships, whatever it may be. But until we embrace life changes and trust the process, we don’t know what beautiful things are waiting for us on the other side.
What if you never left your job you hated for a new opportunity because the change was too scary?
What if you stayed in a friendship that was mentally draining you because you were too scared of not making new friends?
What if you stayed in a relationship that was hurting you because you were scared you would never find love again?
Let all of that sink in.
If it wasn’t for the big life changes I went through, I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this blog because I would have never set aside time for myself.
I wouldn’t have ever used my social media to open up.
I wouldn’t be aware of the way my words can help others.
I wouldn’t understand the importance of therapy and taking care of your mental health.
I wouldn't know how to stand up for myself and know my worth.
I wouldn’t have a stronger relationship with my family, friends & God.
I wouldn’t be confident in my brand + purpose with my platform.
And lastly, I wouldn’t believe that everything does in fact happen for a reason.
I am still trying to figure out my next steps and if you are in the same boat as me, trust the process, baby. I am here riding the wave with you. I don’t have the answers and I can’t predict where I will be in 1 month or 1 year. But I can take comfort in knowing that I am where I am supposed to be.
Thank you for reading my first ever blog post. EEK. I am looking forward to opening up more in the future & also taking you along with me on this journey I call LIFE.
…Also, I promise not all posts will be this heavy. ;) Shall we do a recipe next?