I want to start this blog off by quoting the iconic queen Lizzo... IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME.
Y'all it has been a minuteeeee since I have cracked open my laptop, put a mindless TV show on and started typing out my never-ending thoughts. Ready for this one?
Life has been crazy - to say the least. What's new, you ask? (LOL, not like I am not posting every constant detail of my life on my Instagram).
- I launched an APP?!?!?! That was cool.
- I have checked out some new places (Lake Tahoe in the summer!) and revisited some old favorites (Austin, TX baby!)
- I have been busier than ever with my fitness business, brand deals and trying to figure out the MOTHER F'N INSTAGRAM ALGORITHM (It sucks, ps).
- I am still single as hell.
Which leads me to the topic I wanted to write about today.
Awhile back, I posted a question on my Instagram and asked for people to give advice / tell me things they wish they would have done BEFORE they got married and had children.
...Honestly I have no clue why I felt called to post this and I did just go through my archives on IG to find an exact screenshot.. #receipts. All I know is it was one of my favorite interactive stories I have EVER done and the answers I got truly gave my chills. It really opened my eyes.
So now what am I going to do?
Share 'em with you.
If you are single, I hope you pause and take time to really read and let these words sink in. As much as I love being a strong, independent woman - it's been tough these past couple of months. I see friends getting into new relationships, I see others getting engaged... and it seems like everyone and their mom is popping out a kid on Facebook.
Look, I am always one to preach GIRL POWER and YOU DON'T NEED ANYONE BUT YOURSELF... but like, I am also a human. And I also have no problem admitting that being single can often times... suck?
I miss having a person.
I miss having someone to wake up next to.
I miss having butterflies when I hear their name.
I miss having someone to travel with.
I miss someone I can lounge with on the couch in an XL t-shirt and my underwear.
I miss cooking dinner instead of going on awkward first dates.
I miss not wondering WHEN my person is going to come into my life.
...Ya get the point.
I low key started cringing when I was writing this and I started to delete the sentences above because I was scared someone would judge me.
But you know what? IT IS OKAY TO MISS CERTAIN THINGS. It is okay to not be strong for once in your life. It is okay to want to have a significant other.
You can want all of that and STILL be a strong ass human with your own goals, ambitions and aspirations.
I am tired of having to pretend like being single is amazing all the time. Sometimes it is?!
And sometimes it freaking sucks.
So that is why I enjoyed getting to read through the responses I got on social media on my "what do you wish you did before you got married and had children" Q&A. It really opened my eyes and changed my perspective on SO SO MUCH.
Yes, those feelings of loneliness still may pop up from time to time.
There's so much life to live during this season of singleness. And here are some of the pieces of advice that I got that made me realize that and made me really freaking EXCITED to be a single 28-year-old.
The people have spoken.
"WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU COULD HAVE DONE BEFORE MARRIAGE AND CHILDREN?"
1. Traveled More
This was the overwhelming top answer. BY A LAND SLIDE. Which made me feel great because this is something I have really tried to make a priority after my last break up. The idea of traveling alone, or even with friends, and going back to old places with held so many memories was SCARY. But I can honestly say I have found so much joy in traveling and seeing new + old places.
If you are like uhhhhh hello, I cannot pick up and hop on a plane to Greece (anyone have a private jet they can lend us?) - Traveling doesn't always have to be exotic or expensive. Hop in your car and drive to a new place. Find a hike in your state. Go on a random road trip. Book a cheap flight in the states, crash on a couch and just GET OUT of your comfort zone. There is so much of the world for us to cover... and for once in your life, you just have to worry about YOU. So whatcha waiting for? Go explore.
2. Experienced Living Alone
I second this one. This is the first time I have ever lived alone and I FREAKING LOVE IT. I was a little hesitant, but wow. I truly have no regrets.
Yes, it gets lonely at times. Especially after a breakup. Many tears were shed on my couch LOL. But there's just something special about living alone in your own space, getting to do things on your own time? I've learned so much about myself in the last year and a half, just by living alone in my cute little (overpriced) apartment.
I have uninterrupted 'me' time, I get to journal, I can walk around naked whenever I want, I have to be more responsible, I also have to be more cognizant about staying in touch with friends and actually taking the initiative to make plans. I've found I have actually been a better and more present friend since living alone... Just do it. At least once in your life!
3. Spend More Time Getting To Know Yourself + What You Love
I think this one speaks for itself. I always say... you can't love someone else until you fully LOVE yourself.
Use this season of singleness to find out everything about yourself. What you love, what you don't, what you need to work on and what you want out of life.
It's okay to be selfish sometimes.
4. Gone To Therapy
TEAM THERAPY OVER HERE.
Let me tell you... I wish I would have started therapy years before I did. Instead, I turned to therapy as a way to cope with a difficult relationship and try to "fix" things. It was incredibly helpful and I am so proud of myself for simply making the step to get help but I always wonder if things would have gone differently in my past relationship if I had started therapy earlier and learned more about myself + how to set boundaries.
Whether you think you need it or not... therapy. Hot girls go to therapy!!!
5. Appreciated + Enjoyed Independence, Instead Of Stressing To Meet The One
This answer hit me right in the gut. Because I am so guilty of the latter.
It's so hard to see other people around you in relationships, marriages, starting families... and then try to NOT compare your timeline to theirs. There has been so many restless nights when I am creating a timelines for myself and mentally making notes of "milestones" I need to meet by a certain time.
I am laughing because 18 year old me thought 28 year old me would definitely be married with a family.
L O L.
You are wasting your precious time if you spend every moment stressing about when you are supposed to meet the one and live up to societies "expectations" - well guess what...You don't have to be on any timeline but YOUR OWN.
Live. It. Up. Stop. Stressing.
Everything will fall into place. Trust the timing of your life.
6. Moved Somewhere New
One of the BEST things I ever did was leave my home state of Texas and make a new life for myself in California. It pushed me wayyy out of my comfort zone (and took away my accent) and led me to exactly where I am now. But I would be lying if I said I am totally comfortable with moving again.
If you have been following me on social media for awhile now, you KNOW I have been thinking about moving to Nashville. YEE FREAKING HAW. No decisions have been made yet and I am taking it day by day, but this answer really spoke to me.
What's holding me here? Why am I scared to leave? Why not try something new and see what happens?
Maybe you need to ask yourself these things too.
7. Took More Spontaneous Trips With Girl Friends
I fully support this.
In my last relationship, I completely let go of so many friendships. I stopped calling, I stopped traveling to see them and I was just SO invested in my relationship that I let everything else fall through the cracks. So when the relationship ended, the number one priority I had was to see my friends more and make up for the time I lost.
& let me tell you... some of the absolutely FAVORITE memories I have the past year are with my girlfriends. Being drunken idiots, cuddling in bed, eating greasy food at 2 am, laughing until we have cramps... these are the things I will always remember.
Men (or vice versa) will come and go... but your friends will be there forever.
8. Go On More Fun Dates (AKA have a "hoe phase.. y'all said it, not me)
This is a controversial one for me because I am simply NOT a one night stand kind of gal (anymore). I overthink wayyyy too much for any situation like that, plus I need to sleep in a perfectly cool, 69 degree room with an eye mask and sound machine... so like... no.
But hey, a common answer was 'having a hoe phase' so I had to report it. Don't judge me, dad.
My interpretation of this though? DATE MORE PEOPLE. Meet new faces. Expand your horizon. Explore different personalities, different types of people, different... bedrooms... so you know exactly what you are looking for.
Once you get married, you are with that person for life (hopefully). LIFE!!!?!? That's a long time to spend with another human, so while you are single... might as well date around and have fun. Even if that means just having an interesting conversation with a new person and maybe getting a funny dating story out of it.
9. Saved Money + Established A Career
I feel like I needed to read this one because I *have an online shopping problem* and also am not the best at saving my money. F you, Apple Pay.
But I do agree with both of these and I think it's SO important to establish a career (or even your own interests) before jumping into a relationship. You need something that is all yours that fills YOUR tank.
For me? That's fitness, my Move Like Morgan business, my social media platforms, THIS BLOG. All things I can pour my time and energy into that is all mine and gives me a sense of accomplishment!
& Last but not least...
10. Don't Wish Away The Season You Are In
I had to end with this one because... wow. Read that over and over and over again. How many times have you wished that you could snap your fingers and be in a relationship? Or a new career? Or in a new house? Or in a new ANYTHING.
Stop wishing away the season you are in. You are there for a very specific reason and you need to be exactly where you are... so you can get to the place you are meant to be. :)
HOLYYYYYY SHIIIIIIIIIIZ THAT FELT SOOOO GOOOOOD TO WRITE.
I forgot how much I enjoyed having this little outlet to spill my thoughts. Thank you for reading along with me. :)
If you are out there and you are in a single season of life... I truly hope this blog post helped you feel more peace, confidence and comfort. Singleness is NOT a curse, but instead a blessing! A reason to celebrate. We just have to be open to embracing it!
Do you. Enjoy life. Trust the process.
Cue Beyonce's "Single Ladies"
Until next time...